Suicide is not an option!

Psychology, Short Stories

Storm. You can hear how rain falls on the ground and creates hypnotizing sound. She seats on the bed with hands covering her eyes and makes moaning noises. A tear comes out between her fingers and falls on the book she was reading just a second ago. It splashes on the page destroying the ink and leaving monstrous stains. Thousands and maybe even millions of thought are going through her head at this moment. Thoughts no one can hear but her.

“He just said those words, easy, quick and without any doubt. Like everything, we’ve ever had just disappeared. Why?

Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt him in some way? He never mentioned that. I was trying really hard to be the best for him, to give him everything he ever wanted.
Just yesterday we laughed and were going crazy about each other. He put his arms around me and I felt such a comfort. I was safe. I wanted to feel like that forever.
Am I safe now? I am not sure anymore. Is that how it’s going to end for us… and for me? Why did he lie? Why would he tell me that he loves me? Why did he plan our life together? Just so one day he could leave me?
How am I going to leave now? He was my everything, my first true love, my soulmate, my best friend and partner in crime.
I feel so empty now like someone took my soul and hide it somewhere. And this pain, deep inside my heart is just growing and growing. I don’t want to wait until it destroys me, I have to do something…”

She gets up from the bed and runs to the kitchen. Her feet are touching the floor and it feels much cooler than before. The smell of the rain is slowly filling out the house and skin becomes sticky because of humidity. She picks up the knife and runs to a bathroom slamming the door behind her. It’s still not too late to stop. She looks at the mirror questioning her reflection that stares back at her without any hope in the eyes. She is gone. She was gone the moment he broke up with her. The moment when her heart crashed into pieces even before it stopped after a careless suicide act.

The knife was sharp and did its job. Within seconds she was on a floor, sitting in her own blood. The blade of the knife cut open her little artery and burgundy color blood splashed around like a fountain. But she wasn’t scared, she was flawless. She still felt the trail of a cold knife on her wrist but she wasn’t trying to close the cut as if it felt right. Her skin was getting pale and the eyelids were getting heavier. There were no more thoughts and worries, no more lies and pain. No more breathing…

The rain continued to fall as if the sky was crying about something. Heavy clouds filled up the sky and the darkness came to hide the sin.

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